ELECTION SEASON HEATS UPThe elections is heating up here in Methjaw County, and the race for Road Commissioner is the talk of the town.After serving two tomulchulous terms in office, enacting sweeping mailbox right of way variance reforms and surviving three assassination attempts, current Road Commissioner Lulu Thompson is stepping down out of her office…

Singer: It may be weird later, but the stars agree: Naming your new Fall record Donald Trump Twitter is a solid online marketing strategy for search results.Guitar: All your favorite bands will stay together, but in separate hotels and only for the reunion tour cash out.Ukulele: Fear not, for the moon phases will return next…

Monday marked the return of the Everbody’s Goin' to Hell ‘Cept Us Reformed Independent Pentecostal Holiness Bible Church of the USA’s youth group from their annual mission trip to Cave City, Kentucky. Youth leader Sidney Duckworth said the youngsters saved at least seven Gothic children and turned three Catholics. Good job, kids! 
In between tent meetings and door knockings,…

Guitar: The stars apologize for Earth’s lukewarm reaction to your solo acoustic rendition of Hamilton.Singer: Frustrated by audiences at open mics not hearing your transcendent lyrics, this month you will be inspired to form the first screamo folk band. Banjo: During the waxing moon, you’ll celebrate your new publishing deal without realizing it’s basically the same setup…

Commerce is thriving in Methjaw County, as several businesses have recently opened in the new Bitter End Commercial Trailer Park and Foreigner Trade Zone.The most recent addition to the park is "Hazy Hazel's Kountry Vapors and Kandles" which is owned and operated by Hazel and Ernie Walkinstick. The shop's main feature is a selection of…