-17 beaded hemp headbands
-Bikini bottoms
-25 hula-hoops
-Heart-shaped Ray Bans
-Backup heart-shaped Ray Bans
-9 asymmetrical gemstone rings (per hand)
-Hella coconut water
-Bubbles
-Moonstones
-Shorts that look like belts
-Your mom’s Woodstock sarong
-Chihuahua rescue
-Boastful yet #grateful hash tags
-Friend to sneak you into VIP
-Dude who’s crushing you to save spot at the front
-Ring pops (for hunger)
The above is a work of satire. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental … although entirely likely.
