Singer: You’ll find a silver lining at the new moon knowing you can now go back to simpler times being judged on looks, which is so much less complicated than creating quality art.Guitar: Uncertainties abound, but rest assured, you'll forever have to argue against gate checking your guitar.Ukulele: All types of people are coming out…

Singer: Even with the World Series and the Standing Rock controversy, it’s still not okaty to wear a headdress and your homemade “Sioux-per Road Warrior” t-shirt on stage.Guitar: The stars see what you’re trying to do there, but refusing to concede victory at the Telluride Troubadour Contest won’t win the respect you’re desperately seeking from…

All you folks round home know that, in addition to writing down the local breaking news for y'all, we're also International Music Celebrities and Appalachian-American Cultrul Icons. After hundreds of thousands of calls and letters from our fans, and despite the International Bluegrass Music Association's COMMIE CONSPIRYATORIN ANTI-MUSIC Board of Directors not hiring us to…

Singer: You will find you have over-prepared to host the IBMA panel on digital marketing when audience questions are mostly about their AOL dial-up connections. Guitar: Despite their name, you will always be able to find the Milk Carton Kids at the Americana Music Awards show.Ukulele: Using any excuse not to pick out china for the White House, Bill Clinton will…

Singer: Your thesaurus is a great songwriting tool so you will be confused when country radio doesn’t pick up sure-fire hits like “Scuz Street,” “Crossroads of Crud,” and “Dust Bunny Boulevard.”Guitar: Because of the continuing conflation of politics and entertainment, your anti-CMA song will lead to a surprise write-in Congressional seat win in November.Ukulele: Though…