DAVENPORT, IOWA – The Quad Cities Roots Festival announced today that it has hired its first-ever Director of Diversity, 55-year-old Karen Van der Sloot.
“I’m absolutely over the moon,” Van der Sloot said, stirring a pot of her famous chili in her suburban kitchen. “Diversity needs a facelift. Because every face is beautiful, especially when it’s smiling!”
While many DEI programs across the country have seen funding cut or been permanently shuttered, the Quad Cities Roots Music Festival is doubling down on its commitment to diversity with this groundbreaking hire.
“Karen is someone who makes everyone feel included. Even people who were already included feel more included because of Karen’s relentless inclusivity,” said a festival spokesperson.
Despite having no background in roots music or diversity initiatives, Van der Sloot believes her experience as a mother of four will offer a fresh perspective to a festival often criticized for its homogeneity.
“Listen, if you’ve ever tried to get a teenager to put down their phone and eat the same thing as the rest of the family, you know that’s the real diversity work,” she smiled. “I always say, ‘We tried democracy, but I’m not gonna make a whole new meal for one person who suddenly says they’re vegan. Mama bear don’t play that game!’”
Her vision for diversity in roots music? “Instead of diversity, I’ve been saying we need melange-ity – a little mix of everything. Like a good chili. Melange-ity means more than just one flavor. We need the full ‘thang’ – beans, hamburger, chili powder, maybe even a little corn if you’re feeling wild!”
For Van der Sloot, that even means getting a mix of ideas, like soliciting programming feedback from her assistant, Dr. Akilah Jessup-Moore. “Did you know she has a doctorate in ethnomusicology from Duke? Such a smart cookie.” Moore could not be reached for comment.
Festival Executive Director – and Karen’s husband – Kevin Van der Sloot also chimed in. “Karen’s been a real trooper. She’s thrown herself into this role 100%. Plus, I think she needed something to do after our oldest left for college.”
Though music acts are still being confirmed, festival headliners will include the Bettendorf Boys Choir, pop-reggae group UB40, and local favorites The Muddy Walters, a blues band comprised entirely of retired dentists.
Greg Hess is a comedy writer and performer in Los Angeles. His work has been featured in The American Bystander, The Onion, Shouts & Murmurs, Points in Case, and he cohosts the hit satirical podcast MEGA.
