14 Songs for Roller Skating in Buffalo Herds

No matter where you may stand on the Lil Nas X viral sensation “Old Town Road” and the associated media firestorm, Twitter debates, and raging country-purity authenticity signalling, we should all be able to agree on one thing: country music has always been a welcoming home to musical memes. Sure, that term may be more recent, a product of the internet age, but ever since the dawn of country as a format silly, tongue-in-cheek, self-deprecating, hilarious, and downright foolish songs have been just as integral a part of the genre as heartbreak, cheatin’, booze, and trucks.

We thought it’s high time we celebrate the knee-slappin’, gut-bustin’ history of country music’s meme-ready songs from across the decades. Here are fourteen of our favorites — yes, just fourteen. We can assure you there are dozens and dozens more where these came from.

“A Boy Named Sue” – Johnny Cash

The man in black, one of the most iconic personas in the history of country music, famous for his grit, his stoicism, and his rough-hewn voice wasn’t even “above” recording a song steeped in satire. Hopefully in 2019 life is getting easier for boys named Sue.

“What a Waste of Good Corn Liquor” – Tennessee Mafia Jug Band

Originally recorded by Country Music Hall of Fame and Bluegrass Hall of Fame member Mac Wiseman, this disconcertingly happy-sounding song tells a story with a moral: moonshine will melt you. Don’t spoil the moonshine.

“The King Is Gone (So Are You)” – George Jones

A song about Elvis, Fred Flintstone, drinking, and heartbreak. This one ticks all of the boxes. Even the “use yabadabadoo in a song” box.

“Did I Shave My Legs For This?” – Deana Carter

Country, after all, is all about the relatability of the human condition. Jilted would-be lovers everywhere have felt your pain, Deana. We truly have.

“Don’t Let The Stars Get In Your Eyeballs” – Homer & Jethro

The original Weird Al Yankovics of country and bluegrass, Homer & Jethro wrote (and re-wrote) scores of songs with wacky, eye roll-inducing, laugh-out-loud funny lyrics, ad libs, and arrangements. Check that steel solo!

“I’ll Oilwells Love You” – Dolly Parton

No, Whitney Houston did not cover this one. But that would have been magnificent.

“You Can’t Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd” – Roger Miller

One of country’s humorous kings, Roger Miller recorded a host of silly songs over the course of his career. We chose this particular number because of its evergreen wisdom. Of course.

“You’re The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly” – Loretta Lynn & Conway Twitty

But you know what? Looks ain’t everything. And money ain’t everything.

“I’m My Own Grandpa” – Willie Nelson

Get out a piece of scratch paper and sketch this family tree as you go. Does it seem a little… circular? Yeah… that’s the problem.

“Would Jesus Wear A Rolex” – Ray Stevens

A modern country parable. Again, an artist with plenty of silly and sarcastic songs to choose from — and Ray Stevens is being inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame this year. Sounds pretty country to us…

“Cleopatra, Queen Of Denial” – Pam Tillis

Yes. More country songs with outright puns as their hooks, please. And of course, we’ve all been there, Pam. Denial is a popular destination.

“Illegal Smile” – John Prine

On the opening track of his debut album Prine immediately set the tone for his entire career with some of the most nonsensical and witty lyrics ever set to song. “Well done, hot dog bun, my sister’s a nun.”

“I’ll Think Of A Reason Later” – Lee Ann Womack

If you’ve never driven down the road shouting along with this one, we highly recommend that you do — as soon as possible. The song’s main character has a remarkable sense of self-awareness for being so viscerally incensed. If you really hate someone — who may or may not have ended up with your former significant other — it may be your family’s redneck nature.

“My Give A Damn’s Busted” – Jo Dee Messina

Look, if you’ve gotten to the end of this list and you haven’t enjoyed yourself, or maybe you don’t get the point, or maybe you think this is just useless clickbait… whatever the case may be, this song counts as our response. “Nah, man. Sorry.” (Isn’t country the best?)

10 Tunes for Your End of Summer Road Trip

Summer’s pretty much over, but there’s still time to get in one last road trip to see Uncle Phil and Aunt May down Pennsyltucky way. So roll down the windows of the minivan, bluetooth your Spotify into the entertainment system, and hit the highway to this playlist of 10 Tunes for Your End of Summer Road Trip.

New Grass Revival: "On the Boulevard"
Guitarist Pat Flynn wrote this one as the title cut for the first of four albums recorded by the band’s last lineup (that included Sam Bush, Béla Fleck, and John Cowan). It’s a nice, easy cooker that’s perfect to get you off the onramp and onto the road.

The Allman Brothers: "Jessica"
Some 40+ years since the Allmans dropped this in 1973, it’s still one of the greatest country instrumentals of all time. Dicky Betts wrote the record for his daughter with Les Dudek helping out on the bridge. Air guitaring is allowed in the passenger’s seat only.

Little Feat: "Let It Roll"
The title cut from the first post-Lowell album from the Feat, this one simply smokes, from the opening B3 spread by Billy Payne to the funky horn riffs to the song’s drive-off-the-cliff ending. Please don’t follow.

Robert Earl Keen: "Amarillo Highway"
If you’re going on a road trip, who would be the first Americana artist you’d invite? I’d invite Robert Earl Keen to sing while I drive (and beat four-on-the-floor with my free foot).

Dave Dudley: "Six Days on the Highway"
Earl Green and Muscle Shoals songwriter Carl Montgomery wrote this one for Dave Dudley. It’s a little known fact that going on a family road trip without playing this song once is illegal in 29 states and the District of Columbia.

Junior Brown: "Highway Patrol"
Dave’s the rebel and Junior’s the law — and, funny enough, they sound almost the same. One of the best songs ever recorded by a dude who easily has the best guitar collection on the planet.

John Hiatt: "Memphis in the Meantime"
Any excuse to include John Hiatt in a playlist is an acceptable excuse … except no excuse is needed. This tune rocks as hard as any he’s ever recorded.

The Band: "Endless Highway"
This is a song that was batted around the Band for a number of years but never got a proper airing. Capitol Records does us a favor by including it on a rarities record and we inject it into the proceedings, right between John Hiatt and Cross Canadian Ragweed.

Cross Canadian Ragweed: "Highway 377"
A road trip without at least one sinister song is like a campfire without a ghost story. Herein, we travel down the dark road that is “Highway 377,” courtesy of the dearly departed Cross Canadian Ragweed.

Homer & Jethro: "Freda on the Freeway"
Every sinister song needs a silly antidote and this one’s perfect. Country humorist Don Bowman recorded this one in ‘66, but his musical brethren Homer & Jethro bring this one home to roost.

Save the full playlist to your Spotify account right here.


Photo credit: Princess Stand in the Rain / Foter / CC BY-NC