Canon Fodder: Joni Mitchell, ‘Court and Spark’

I originally didn’t want to write this column.

When I first asked the Bluegrass Situation’s wise and heroic editor if she had any album suggestions for the next Canon Fodder, her immediate response was: Joni Mitchell. “Maybe Court and Spark,” she recommended. I think I wrote something curt and casually dismissive back to her, something about being allergic to Joni Mitchell. And it’s true: I’ve never been a fan. At various times in my life, I’ve heard various albums by Joni, and they washed over me unnoticed just as often as they actively irked me. She was, in other words, the last person I wanted to write about.

And yet, here I am writing about Joni Mitchell.

Between that email exchange and this column you are currently reading, I became more and more intrigued by such an assignment. Why, I’ve been wondering lately, have I nursed something akin to a grudge against an artist who enjoys the respect and admiration of so many people I respect and admire? What was at the root of my disdain for such a well-regarded artist, one who has earned the label “genius” throughout her career? Is everybody else in the world wrong? Or is it me? Is there a correct answer here?

It occurs to me that every listener has a major artist they cannot abide. Not everyone can like everything they hear, and I certainly wouldn’t want to get stuck on a long road trip with someone who has no strong opinions. I’ve had heated — thoroughly enjoyable and critically rejuvenating — conversations with people who think Dylan is a terrible singer. Van is a hack. Springsteen is a goofball. Kendrick is a terrible rapper. The Beatles are boring.

Okay, that last one is me, again. But my point is this: What we don’t like is usually as essential to how we define ourselves as what we do like. That’s certainly true online, where hating the latest Star Wars is a vocation. We define ourselves against certain kinds of music, or possibly in opposition to the fans of that music — which is why many people don’t think they like country music or jam bands. I spent much of my youth doing just that: cultivating dislikes, waging personal wars against the Beatles or whomever else I deemed “overrated.” As I’ve grown older, my viewpoint has softened and I’ve developed an appreciation for what the Beatles achieved, even if I think they should be a gateway band rather than an endpoint. That’s a lot different than just shouting, “The Beatles suck!” at random passersby. It’s hopefully a more nuanced critical take on that band — although some might call it “dumb” and, honestly, I wouldn’t argue.

That’s what happens as we get older. Or, it’s what should happen. We ought to allow our tastes and opinions to grow much more complicated as we integrate more experiences and more knowledge into our identities. We don’t want to get soft or dismissive, but we also don’t want to stop growing or considering other perspectives. Perhaps that’s why I felt compelled to write about Court and Spark for this column: I wanted to see if I’ve grown up any more since the last time I listened to Joni … and, if so, how much. I’ve been curious if my perspective has changed on the album and on the artist at all. I chose this album for various reasons: It’s her commercial breakthrough, her biggest-selling album, and one that introduced a new phase in her career. Actually this record introduced the idea that her career would have phases — that she wouldn’t forever be the wallflower West Coast folkie of Ladies of the Canyon and Blue, renowned for her fragility, as well as for her lyricism. She recorded with Tom Scott and L.A. Express, a jazz fusion outfit that allowed her to dramatically rethink her songwriting — what words she chose, which stories she told, how she phrased her vocals rhythmically and melodically. Court and Spark expanded what singer/songwriters could do and how they could sound, wrestling the vague genre away from the rootsy and the folksy and creating something more urban, more modern.

As such, it’s impossible even for me to deny her influence on pop and roots music, even R&B and hip-hop. Prince gave her song “Help Me” a shout-out on “Ballad of Dorothy Parker,” and she was, perhaps, the only artist who could make him tongue-tied. Aimee Mann and Sufjan Stevens have both covered “Free Man in Paris.” Katharine McPhee covered “Help Me.” Jeff Buckley did “People’s Parties” on Live at Sin-é. And I’m not the first to argue that Taylor Swift’s entire career is based on Mitchell, specifically on her tendency to turn lovers into lover songs.

Mitchell, of course, is much more acerbic and painterly in her love songs, often writing lyrics as conversations between herself and these famous men. If Swift turns her albums into tabloids about herself, Mitchell, to her immense credit, used this tack to push against expectations of herself as a female singer/songwriter and to establish herself as an independent and individual artist. There is something powerful in how swiftly and efficiently she dispatches a lover, especially on “Help Me. “You’re a rambler and a gambler and a sweet-talking ladies’ man, and you love your lovin’ but not like you love your freedom.” As Dan Chiasson recently observed in The New Yorker, “Men often wanted Mitchell to be a wife, a muse, a siren, or a star. Instead, they got a genius, and one especially suited to deconstructing their fantasies of her.”

So I gave Court and Spark another listen. Several listens, actually. For the purposes of this experiment, I listened to the album in as many different settings as possible: I listened on headphones in the grocery store and walking the dog in the park. I played it in the car running errands. I played it on my computer while I sat at my desk. I gave it various amounts of my attention, following closely along with the lyrics, then letting my mind wander, then letting myself get distracted by the task of scooping up dog poop. And do you know what happened?

Nothing.

I experienced not great epiphany. Lightning didn’t strike me through my earbuds. I remained cold to her singing. I remained unmoved by her lyrics. I remained unconvinced by the jazz arrangements. Certain elements stuck out to me as more compelling than I remembered, in particular the mise-en-scène on “People’s Parties,” which conveys a fragmenting anomie that puts me in mind of Joan Didion. The intro to “Raised on Robbery” reminded me of the Manhattan Transfer, but I like the groove she finds, which reinforces the sexual confidence of her narrator: “I’m a pretty good cook, sitting on my groceries,” she sings, as the song bounces along. “Come up to my kitchen, I’ll show you my best recipe.”

But there were passages that gnawed at me a bit. The hook on “Free Man in Paris” sounded fussy, a garbled melody. In “The Same Situation,” there was “a pretty girl in your bathroom, checking out her sex appeal” — a phrase that ground awkwardly against my ears. And while I appreciate that she is using “Twisted,” a hit in 1952 for the British jazz singer Annie Ross, as a winking commentary on the psychoanalytical relationship between herself and her listener, the song itself is ghastly, sounding more like a parody of jazz than jazz itself.

And yet, I can’t make any of these criticisms add up to a bad album. Perhaps not liking Court and Spark is a physical phenomenon rather than a psychological or emotional reaction. Perhaps it occurs on a cellular level, the way popping bubble wrap is ecstatic or the feel of frosted glass is unnerving. Perhaps it really is something like an allergy — a physical rejection of something that might otherwise cause pleasure. Whatever it is, whatever its cause, I’m now convinced that it is my own loss.

BGS 5+5: Belle Adair

Artist: Matthew Green (of Belle Adair)
Hometown: Muscle Shoals, AL
Latest Album: Tuscumbia
Rejected Band Name: Sorry Saints

If you had to write a mission statement for your career, what would it be?

Trust yourself and your own instincts more than others. Don’t capitulate.

Which elements of nature do you spend the most time with and how do those impact your work?

I do a lot of trail running and hiking, now that I’m living in Philadelphia. There are some beautiful trails and sights around the Wissahickon Creek. It’s mostly a mechanism to clear my mind and reduce anxiety, but it’s also a good time to think about new songs I’m working on.

If you could spend 10 minutes with John Lennon, Dolly Parton, Hank Williams, Joni Mitchell, Sister Rosetta, or Merle Haggard how would it go?

I’d have to choose Joni. I’d ask her to play “Woodstock” twice and, once she was finished, I’d thank her profusely until our time was up.

How do other art forms — literature, film, dance, painting, etc — inform your music?

My wife is a painter. I wake up to her work every day. Either I’m seeing it or we’re talking about it. I can’t say exactly how it informs my music, but I know that it does. It has to. It’s just too important to me.

What’s the weirdest, hardest, nerdiest, or other superlative thing about songwriting that most non-writers wouldn’t know?

I usually sing nonsense lyrics when I’m first working out the melody to a song. Even though the words make little sense, I can always find some nugget in there that feels right that I can build around. It’s good to let the subconscious play its role.

From BGS with Love: Non-Crappy Christmas Songs

Cynical though it may sound, a lot of holiday music is pretty crappy. Just turn on your local soft rock radio station and try withstanding the onslaught of ratings-boosting renditions of “Rudolph” that, these days, seem to begin sometime around Halloween. Save for “Feliz Navidad,” a couple of Carpenters’ tunes, and anything by Bing Crosby, it all pretty much sucks.

To the rescue we come with our exclusive playlist of Non-Crappy Christmas Songs.

We like this list because it has a little of everything: heartbreak, humor, sentiment, and sadness — plus a performance by one of the great folk artists of all time … Kermit the Frog. So, kick back and let Joni Mitchell and Johnny Cash, Brandi Carlile and Burl Ives serenade your holidays.

For those of you who like your carols a little more on the country side of the street, the ginormous Ultimate Country Christmas Playlist we did last year rocks pretty steady.


Photo credit: ginnerobot via Foter.com / CC BY-SA

3×3: Chelsea Williams on Paul Simon, Perfect Songs, and Picking Condiments

Artist: Chelsea Williams
Hometown: Sunland, CA
Latest Album: Boomerang
Personal Nicknames: N/A

 

Chillin’ in Kentucky at the @grandvictorianinn #BoomernagTour

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What song do you wish you had written?

“River” by Joni Mitchell is absolutely perfect.

Who would be in your dream songwriter round?

Oliver Wood, Paul Simon, Joni Mitchell

If you could only listen to one artist’s discography for the rest of your life, whose would you choose?

Paul Simon

 

Guitar daaaze with @garrenandcohan

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How often do you do laundry?

A couple days after all of my clothes are dirty.

What was the last movie that you really loved?

I recently watched Barton Fink by the Coen brothers and really enjoyed it.

If you could re-live one year of your life, which would it be and why?

This one has been my favorite, so far. Releasing my new record Boomerang and touring the country has been thrilling, to say the least.

 

Neon in Memphis Tennessee #BoomerangTour

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What’s your go-to comfort food?

Wine

Kombucha — love it or hate it?

It’s somewhat related to wine … so I’m gonna say love it.

Mustard or mayo?

That’s like asking cake or pie … obviously, both.

3×3: Gabrielle Shonk on Joni Mitchell, Mustard, and Mac ‘n’ Cheese

Artist: Gabrielle Shonk
Hometown: Born in Providence, Rhode Island / Raised/Living in Quebec City, Canada
Latest Album: Gabrielle Shonk 
Personal Nicknames: Shonk, Gab, Gab Shonk, Shonky, Shonky Shonkator, The Shonkinator

What song do you wish you had written?

“Both Sides Now” — Joni Mitchell

Who would be in your dream songwriter round?

Tracy Chapman, Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, Ray LaMontagne, Feist

If you could only listen to one artist’s discography for the rest of your life, whose would you choose?

The Beatles

 

 

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How often do you do laundry?

Every two weeks maybe? I’d love to do it more often, but I’m never home!

What was the last movie that you really loved?

Dunkirk

If you could re-live one year of your life, which would it be and why?

Probably go back to third grade and not give up my piano lessons! 25 and 27 were two pretty awesome/crazy years that I loved. My music career really took some positive turns around then, but I still wouldn’t go back. I’m just so excited for what’s coming up next!

What’s your go-to comfort food?

Vegan mac ’n cheese

Kombucha — love it or hate it?

Absolutely love kombucha … It’s my coffee!

Mustard or mayo?

Love mustard. There are so many varieties!


Photo credit: Norman Wong

3×3: Twisted Pine on Watching Movies, Getting Bugs, and Mixing Mayo

Artist: Rachel Sumner (of Twisted Pine)
Hometown: Boston, MA
Latest Album: Twisted Pine
Personal Nicknames: Dan “Fireball” Bui, Chris “Moose” Sartori, KP, Rachel Slumber

 

Order up! Our album comes out in 3 days!!! There’s still time to pre-order — link in the bio!

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What song do you wish you had written?

“Temptation of Adam” by Josh Ritter

Who would be in your dream songwriter round?

Joanna Newsom, Anaïs Mitchell, Shara Nova, and Joni Mitchell. Holy smokes.

If you could only listen to one artist’s discography for the rest of your life, whose would you choose?

This is the toughest question! I’d probably go with the Beatles since their catalogue is so diverse. I’m never not in the mood for the Beatles.

How often do you do laundry?

As often as I can/need (two or three times a month?).

What was the last movie that you really loved?

I just watched the original Blade Runner and then had to watch the director’s cut immediately after. Annie Hall was reigning supreme before that.

If you could re-live one year of your life, which would it be and why?

Maybe summer 2009-2010. That was the summer I graduated high school and discovered Largo at the Cornet. I started going to the Watkins Family Hour every month, saw a bunch of my musical heroes in the flesh, and went to my first-ever festival. Guess you could say that was the year I caught the roots music bug!

 

We  @brooklynbowl and @thelovecanon!!

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What’s your go-to comfort food?

Quesadillas and fideo!

Kombucha — love it or hate it?

Love love love it.

Mustard or mayo?

Possibly unpopular opinion: I think they’re better together.

3×3: Dispatch on Postal Uniforms, Sourdough Bread, and the Joni Mitchell Catalog

Artist: Chadwick Stokes (of Dispatch
Hometown: Boston, Denver, New York 
Latest Album: America, Location 12
Personal Nicknames:  Chetro/Chicoree, Braddigan/Brizzlebear

What song do you wish you had written?

“The Flesh Failures (Let the Sunshine In)”

Who would be in your dream songwriter round? 

Cat Stevens, Dylan, Joni Mitchell, Robert Hunter, Jimmy Cliff, Leonard Cohen, Nina Simone, Kurt Cobain, Shannon Hoon, John Lennon, Chuck D, Zack de la Rocha, Joe Strummer, Lead Belly, Shane McGowan 

If you could only listen to one artist’s discography for the rest of your life, whose would you choose?

Joni Mitchell 

How often do you do laundry?

I wear a postal uniform and it is made of magic government cloth that never needs washing.  

What was the last movie that you really loved?

The Pianist

If you could re-live one year of your life, which would it be and why?

Would it alter the time continuum? If it did, then I wouldn’t want to live any over again because I might not meet my wife. If it didn’t, I’d like to relive the year before I met my wife. 

 

To our beloved DISPATCH fans: Pete here. It is a genuine honor and pleasure to be part of the DISPATCH family – alongside @chadwickstokes and @bradcorrigan – and to feel your love and support from all the years. There is nothing quite like it. Last year, I was unable to join the European Tour. And I am realizing now that its likely I will not be able to join Chad and Brad on the road again this year. Like others you may know, I battle depression. In order to get better, this problem requires my complete focus and every bit of energy I can spare. Making the decision to take a leave-of-absence from the band has been hard. Yet, the extraordinary compassion, love and patience I feel from our close DISPATCH family… from Chad, Brad, Steve, Dalton, Sybil, and from my wife Katie, has now given me the strength to move ahead and the ability to come to this decision. In sharing my decision with you publicly for the first time, I feel a much needed sense of relief that will allow me to focus all of my energy on my healing. My entire family continues to offer their unconditional love and support as well. It is a tricky process to try to live and cope with any mental illness. The suffering and pain can sometimes be intense – and can come and go without warning. Yet the warmth from friends, family and fans has helped me to endure, to persevere – and mostly, to continue to have hope. So I will be taking some time off from the band now to try some new approaches and learn how to better manage my illness. I am grateful that I can share this personal piece of myself and what I am experiencing with all of you. My hope is that I will also get to share with you some of my successes as I travel what may be a rocky and sometimes uncertain path toward well-being. While I can’t tour with Chad and Brad right now, the good news is that I was able to work with them to record our latest album! I am SO proud of our work and can’t wait for all of you to hear it. THANK YOU again for all the LOVE you have already sent my way. It has truly been an awesome journey so far and I will continue every day to look forward to seeing you before too much longer. Your friend, @petefrancis3

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What’s your go-to comfort food?

Dandelion coffee alternative and sourdough bread.  

Kombucha — love it or hate it?

Love it! Made it here on the farm ’til my uncle John got sick.  

Mustard or mayo?

Peanut butter

Shrimp Quesadilla Pockets

I think and talk a lot about the power of interpretation. When I left college to become a professional musician, one of the things I did to put food on the table was singing jingles and demos. With the jingles, I had to sell products — anything from clothing to Taco Bell. If I didn’t sound excited to be singing about those products, no one would have wanted to buy what I was selling. The same applied to the demo sessions I was a part of. I learned early on that my job wasn’t just to sing well; it was to help the songwriter properly translate their message. The more I did it, the deeper I delved into the lyrics I was singing, causing such a profound personal connection to the songs, making it feel like the stories were only mine to tell. I found the power of interpretation through music, then, and have continued to explore that power in other areas in my life ever since.

Two years ago, I did something that I’ve never done before: I sang songs written by other people and put them out on an album under my own name. Was it challenging? Yes. Not because I was too proud to sing someone else’s songs, but because I had so much respect for the artists who had released those songs in the first place. I wanted to honor their creativity and make sure that I wasn’t doing a disservice to the art itself. Now that I cook nearly as much as I sing, the same principles apply to the food I make.

There are so many cultures whose cuisines I admire. I cook a lot of food that is not from the culture I was born into or raised in. I used to be afraid to cook anything not American or Ghanaian, but then I began to get inside various, unique dishes and study them from the inside out. Once I realized what flavors and techniques make up a dish, as well as the love given to the food from the culture it came from, I gained the confidence to engage in the interpretation of those dishes and I’ve learned how to honor them in my own way. My fiancé, Sam, is originally from California. To him, Mexican cuisine is almost synonymous with comfort. I love Mexican food and I love Tex-Mex, as well. Tex-Mex is a direct interpretation. It is a cuisine brought to Texas by Mexican descendants that reinvents a traditional way of eating while remaining respectful of its origin.

This Autumn, I will have the honor of calling three children, ages 13 and under, my official bonus children. That’s so much cooler than saying “step children” — and they’re so much cooler than that, too. I cook for them often and they help me in the kitchen a lot, as well. Before I came along, my fiancé’s go-to dinner for the kiddos was often some kind of Mexican cuisine — tacos or quesadillas, usually. It’s one of the few things that certain little people I know will eat joyfully! Yet, being the cook that I am, I bore easily if I’m making the same thing the same way over and over again. I want to make my family’s bellies happy, but I also want to make my creative soul happy in the process.

This belly/soul happy recipe, Shrimp* Quesadilla Pockets, is an interpretation of a traditional one. A traditional quesadilla involves two tortillas filled with cheese, stacked on top of each other. When sliced, it’s reminiscent of a pizza to me. Although I very much like pizza and traditional quesadillas (and all of the yummy toppings that fall off or out of them when you pick them up), I needed to create an easy, pocket-sized version for quick pick-up-and-go meals. Call it my new mom short-cut. I’m learning! They store well and the filling doesn’t dry out because it’s not exposed and can be reheated in a flash.

Interpret away, people. It’s the stuff we’re made of. Take Herbie Hancock’s tribute album to Joni Mitchell, River: The Joni Letters, for instance. Put it on right now. Um, wow. Yeah, that’s some power right there.

SHRIMP* QUESADILLA POCKETS
*Omit shrimp for allergies, etc., and sub with any protein of choice

Ingredients

Serves 5 (2 each)
1/2 lb cooked shrimp, sliced in half lengthwise
1/8 tsp red pepper/chili flakes (or omit)
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp chili powder
1 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (or omit)
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 Tbsp lime juice**
2 cloves garlic, minced
Safflower or grape seed oil
10 soft, large, white tortillas
2 cups shredded pepper jack, monterey jack, or cheddar cheese
1 cup black beans, rinsed and drained
2 cups cooked white rice
Condiments of choice — salsa, sour cream, and limes for us.

**I forgot to grab the limes from my house when I came over to Sam’s to try this recipe out on him and the kids … but a bright young man of 11 pointed out that “maybe some lime” would have helped to make it brighter. Don’t forget the limes. Alfie’s orders.

Directions

Preheat your oven to 250° and place a sheet tray lined with parchment paper or foil inside of it. This is where you will keep the quesadillas warm while you’re making a stack of ’em.

Place shrimp and all the ingredients up to (but not including) the oil in a bowl and massage into shrimp and let sit in the fridge for 15 minutes.

Lay out tortillas and sprinkle ingredients lightly onto tortilla in a V shape (reference my tutorial photos) in the following order — cheese, two slices of shrimp in a vertical line, beans, rice, more cheese. Reference tutorial photos for folding.

Heat 1-2 Tbsp oil on medium heat (no higher!) in a non-stick pan. Place folded tortilla in pan, seam side down. Hold a spatula on top of each quesadilla pocket for a few seconds to ensure a proper seal. Check for brownness after one minute and flip when desired color is achieved. Repeat the last step to brown the other side.

Garnish with cilantro and dip in salsa or sour cream.

Tift Merritt, ‘Love Soldiers On’

And then, with the scribble of a black pen, the world changed.

Last Friday, President Donald Trump signed away a future for thousands of immigrants and refugees hoping to make America their new home — a future that included a life in this country that, once upon a time, promised them open arms. In that moment — along with the prospect of ticking our clock back years for women’s reproductive rights, equality for our LGBTQ citizens, and progress in climate change, not to mention efforts to “clean up” the inner cities — life as usual felt almost impossible. And, for me, that means music: There’s not a moment of my daily being that doesn’t include a soundtrack, from wake to work to the minutes of pseudo-consciousness before I drift off to sleep. But Friday, I felt numb. It seemed nothing would match the mood of the morning. No morose melodies helped, no upbeat pop anthems soothed.

Then I tried “Love Soldiers On,” by Tift Merritt, off her newest LP, Stitch of the World. Many have pointed out the similarities between Merritt and Joni Mitchell, and it’s not wrong — but there’s just enough grit in Merritt’s voice to not gloss over the hard realities of our current world. I’m not one for blind optimism, but “Love Soldiers On” gives that glimmer of hope in a post-Hope era, waltzing delicately with a heart on the mend and a head adorned with a pink knit cap. There is a way to soldier on, but it does feel like a battle. So load up our packs with resistance, poster board, and comfortable shoes, and get ready to fight. Along the way, look for love. And don’t forget the music.

7 Americana Songs That Should Absolutely Not Be Covered By Anyone (Even Bob Dylan)

We all know that feeling, the one we get when someone does a cover of one of our favorite songs. It's the same mix of excitement and fear we felt as teenagers, when we jumped into the back of Dad's Plymouth Reliant and started working on our 'Night Moves.' Will it be an ecstatic experience or will it completely suck? But just as there are people with whom we'd never endeavor to join in the back of that car, there are songs that are patently untouchable, recordings that should be left alone for posterity, never to be covered by anyone (even Bob Dylan). Here's a list of seven that are sacred.

"Wagon Wheel" — Old Crow Medicine Show

It’s not too farfetched to imagine that somewhere in this great musical land of ours some ‘record guy’ is hatching a plot to have Bob Dylan cover his own co-write, like some evil scientist plotting to destroy the North Carolina transit system. Don’t engage with the dark side, Bob. I gave you a pass on that semi-awful Frank Sinatra thing but, if you dare lay hands on this Americana classic (part owner though you may be), I’ll be compelled to give you a thorough tongue-lashing. Worse than I would’ve given Darius Rucker had I cared enough to talk about it. And don’t get me started on the other versions that are floating around from bands that ought to know better (but apparently don’t). Heck, there's even an entire website devoted to stopping the spread of "Wagon Wheel."

"La Cienega Just Smiled" — Ryan Adams

I have a 15-year old son who’s quite an accomplished musician, who does a pretty nice piano and vocal version of this song. But he’ll never record it or perform it in public, he says, “because the original version is perfect and I’ll never, ever come close.” Others should have such foresight. Out of the mouths of babes, as they say.

"Don’t Think About Her When You’re Trying To Drive" — Little Village

A good friend of mine, once the music editor of a hi-fi magazine, said the demise of Little Village came because there was no one in charge (so everyone thought he was in charge). I’m guessing that dogs like "Solar Sex Panel" had something to do with it, too. But tucked among the mutts was this Westminster Best In Show, a fervently heart-breaking ballad about being on the road to somewhere without someone. The arrangement is beautiful, the twanging Telecasters are glorious and drummer Jim Keltner has more taste in his left foot than most people have in their whole body.

"Quits" — Danny O’Keefe

“What will we call it now? It’s not a marriage anymore.” Seriously, I tear up every time I hear this song, probably the most heart-wrenching three minutes and nineteen seconds about divorce ever written. Weeping pedal steel, desolate strings, lonely harmonies (courtesy of Linda Ronstadt), lyrics that are hankie worthy, even for the toughest of tough guys. A couple of country dudes have covered this one and they're still meeting with their therapists to work through their guilt and shame.

"Windfall" — Son Volt

Quite possibly the greatest Americana song ever written, it’s hard to imagine why anyone would try to improve on this example of perfection. It’s all here: moaning vocals, steel guitars (settlin’ down), fabulous fiddles, all night radio stations, hands on the wheel, the wind in your face, troubles, troubles and more troubles at 134 beats per minute. I’ll give ‘Rusty Fender” a pass on his YouTube bass cover (Really? bass cover?) but that’s as far as my forgiveness will extend.

"Big Yellow Taxi" — Joni Mitchell

As much as my boy and I are pretty simpatico when it comes to music, I think about putting him up for adoption every time he cracks open Spotify and plays the isn't-he-cute boyfriend funk version of this song that Counting Crows massacred for the benefit of pop radio. The codpiece caterwaul of the emotive Mr. Durwitz that was somewhat charming when he was hanging with "Mr. Jones" just proves he has no clue what he's singing about. For God sakes, dude, the song isn't about the girl. It's about our collective loss of childhood innocence and appreciation that's leading us to destroy the planet. 

"Tenderness" — Paul Simon

There Goes Rhymin’ Simon was one of Paul Simon’s most popular records and "Tenderness" followed "Kodachrome" so, even by mistake, this song got played a lot back when vinyl and tape were all we had. And why wouldn’t it? It’s New Orleans blues meets New York folk in its finest form, perfectly framed by The Dixie Hummingbirds. And that’s why it should never be covered … ’cuz no one sings like those guys.