Tag: lol

BGS’s 15 Favorite New Emojis

Posted on by Justin Hiltner

If you haven’t heard by now, Apple released a host of new emojis — 398 to be exact! — with the rollout of iOS 13.2 earlier this week. Among them are soon-to-be-favorites such as an otter, a sloth, a yawning face, a bulb of garlic, and oh so many more. To take you into the weekend we thought we’d poll the BGS staff and list our favorites here. Which new additions are you most excited for? Comment below!

The Banjo

I mean, DUH!! We finally get a banjo emoji! Props to Apple for getting it right with the fifth string peg and the armrest. It’s clearly a beginner model (the tuning pegs parallel to the headstock, for instance), but this machine can clearly get the job done. An obvious fav.

The Banjo

Can you blame us? A BANJO EMOJI IS HERE, Y’ALL!!

The Banjo

No, seriously. This isn’t a “paddle faster” situation. This is a “the quintessential American instrument is finally given its due alongside a violin, stratocaster, trumpet, saxophone, and a Shure SM58” situation. Or perhaps, a Bluegrass Situation?

The Banjo (Samsung version)

Are those… are those ugly tuners!? Unfortunately, no. If you peer really closely you’ll see it’s actually a six-string banjo, which is just as important a part of American vernacular music as the five-string, to be sure. Good job, though, Samsung. The detail is spot on, even if six-string banjos don’t have headstocks like this.

The Banjo (Facebook version)

Facebook isn’t getting much of anything right these days, but damn if their banjo emoji doesn’t just almost cover a world of sin. Another six-string (forgivable), yes, and the inlays and gold plating are a nice touch.

The Banjo

We just missed it, okay? TAKE IN ITS RESPLENDENT GLORY!!

The Banjo (Google version)

Another budget model, given the flange styling, and they certainly phoned in the details — is it four-string? Five-string? Six-string? NO-STRING!? But hey, it’s a banjo. Banjomoji. (Still testing out that term. You can use it if you like.)

The Banjo

If you scrolled down this far to see if we’ve chosen any others… Nope! Still banjo.

The Banjo (Microsoft version)

It kinda feels like this one should be cut out and promptly slung around a paper doll’s neck, right? Cute as can be. But really, did any of y’all know Microsoft has their own versions of emojis? Who knew??? [Windows phone users, don’t @ us.]

The. Banjo. Damnit. 

Banjomoji! Banjomoji! Banjomoji! Banjomoji! Banjomoji!

The Banjo (Twitter version) 

The participation trophy of banjo emojis. The “nobody else in the group project turned in their work” of banjo emojis. The Nickelback of banjo emojis. Four tuners, two strings, six brackets — is this a functional instrument or a toy, Twitter? Oh right. Neither. It’s an emoji. Still a banjo, though!

The Hatchet

The only other AXE to be released in this round of emojis. Lololol. Get it?

The Banjo

You see what we’re doing here, right?

The Banjo

If only Earl Scruggs could see the magnificence he hath wrought.

The Banjo

Whether you got here the long way or scrolled right down after reading the intro, yes, this is a real thing you just read. We just love the banjo emoji, okay? We’ve waited a while. Let us have this moment.

Now to begin lobbying for a mandolin emoji! Who’s with us!?

Photo credit: Foter.com
Emojis: Apple designs / Emojipedia

Dan Whitener: Six of the Best Tips for Touring the UK

Posted on by Editor

I love playing banjo in the UK. By the end of my latest British tour with Gangstagrass, I started thinking that next time I should stay for longer. Maybe I’ll get a Leicester flat.

Fortunately, Man About a Horse is heading out on our first UK tour. To help my bandmates adjust to the culture shock, I’ve identified a few key differences between our nations from observations during my time abroad. I hope this resource proves helpful to other touring bands and to the readers of the Bluegrass Situation. — Dan Whitener, Man About a Horse

The political system is different.

It’s important to be sensitive to the current political climate when you are a visitor, especially if you have to interact with large groups of people on a daily basis. What you should know is that there was a contentious vote in 2016 that stoked xenophobia, sowed distrust of government, drove a wedge between groups of citizens, and separated the country from the world community in a meaningful way. The country is still navigating the effects of this vote, as well as experiencing ongoing turbulence and the occasional unseating of high-ranking government officials.

How will Americans possibly understand what that’s like?

The green rooms are different.

The green rooms have tea. The hotels have tea. Every place has tea. Somewhere, a British scientist is working on a tea pipeline to have it come out of the tap. Which reminds me, washing your hands is an art that takes the better part of half an hour. The sink, or washbasin, has separate taps for hot and cold water, and you mix them to the perfect temperature in the basin, which you stopper and fill. This process serves as a reminder of why we don’t take baths in America.

These differences in your daily routine may slow you down, but you might find yourself becoming more contemplative while soaking your hands in a basin of hot tea.

The language is different.

Here in America, we sometimes make the mistake of thinking we speak a language called English. Having visited England, I can tell you that we do not speak English. Having visited Scotland, I can also tell you that they do not speak English. For instance, musicians use the word “gig” to refer to a show we’re going to play, but fans in the UK also use it to describe a show they’re going to see. This will only enhance your existing suspicion that everyone else has more gigs than you!

It’s always a good idea when visiting a foreign country to learn a few key words and phrases. This is true of the UK. To practice conversing like a local, you should first determine what’s on your mind, and then make sure not to say it.

The driving is different.

The UK is one of those places where you drive on the left side of the road. Accordingly, the driver sits on the right side, left turns are much easier, and sometimes I wake up from road naps disoriented and screaming about incoming traffic.

Calculating distance and gas economy can be confusing as well. The gas (called “petrol,” unless you’re using diesel) is sometimes measured in litres (not liters, unless it’s gallons), while distance is still measured in miles (unless it’s kilometres, not kilometers). All you need to know is that the venues are still as far apart as they need to be, according to the radius clause.

The crowd is different.

You may have some difficulty assessing the audience reaction. One time I played a show in England for a good-sized crowd who clapped for every song. However, not a single person danced. In fact, everyone plastered themselves against the back wall the entire time. At the end of the show, we went out to say hi, and asked if everyone had been having fun. “Oh, we did,” they reassured us, “but no one wanted to be the first to start dancing.”

You might also find it unsettling to not hear constant talking from the audience. They are doing something they call “listening.” You’ll get used to it.

You are different.

Remember not to blend in too much! British people may seem foreign and exciting to you, but in the UK, you are the stranger, which means you are foreign and exciting to them! So, instead of trying to perfect your British accent, just speak the way you normally do. The same goes for your music.

Imagine this: some British fans are already wild about American folk music without ever having heard an American musician play it in person. You get to play for a knowledgeable audience with fresh ears.

Editor’s Note: Man About A Horse are playing in the UK until 14 July. Get all of their tour dates here.

14 Songs for Roller Skating in Buffalo Herds

Posted on by Justin Hiltner

No matter where you may stand on the Lil Nas X viral sensation “Old Town Road” and the associated media firestorm, Twitter debates, and raging country-purity authenticity signalling, we should all be able to agree on one thing: country music has always been a welcoming home to musical memes. Sure, that term may be more recent, a product of the internet age, but ever since the dawn of country as a format silly, tongue-in-cheek, self-deprecating, hilarious, and downright foolish songs have been just as integral a part of the genre as heartbreak, cheatin’, booze, and trucks.

We thought it’s high time we celebrate the knee-slappin’, gut-bustin’ history of country music’s meme-ready songs from across the decades. Here are fourteen of our favorites — yes, just fourteen. We can assure you there are dozens and dozens more where these came from.

“A Boy Named Sue” – Johnny Cash

The man in black, one of the most iconic personas in the history of country music, famous for his grit, his stoicism, and his rough-hewn voice wasn’t even “above” recording a song steeped in satire. Hopefully in 2019 life is getting easier for boys named Sue.

“What a Waste of Good Corn Liquor” – Tennessee Mafia Jug Band

Originally recorded by Country Music Hall of Fame and Bluegrass Hall of Fame member Mac Wiseman, this disconcertingly happy-sounding song tells a story with a moral: moonshine will melt you. Don’t spoil the moonshine.

“The King Is Gone (So Are You)” – George Jones

A song about Elvis, Fred Flintstone, drinking, and heartbreak. This one ticks all of the boxes. Even the “use yabadabadoo in a song” box.

“Did I Shave My Legs For This?” – Deana Carter

Country, after all, is all about the relatability of the human condition. Jilted would-be lovers everywhere have felt your pain, Deana. We truly have.

“Don’t Let The Stars Get In Your Eyeballs” – Homer & Jethro

The original Weird Al Yankovics of country and bluegrass, Homer & Jethro wrote (and re-wrote) scores of songs with wacky, eye roll-inducing, laugh-out-loud funny lyrics, ad libs, and arrangements. Check that steel solo!

“I’ll Oilwells Love You” – Dolly Parton

No, Whitney Houston did not cover this one. But that would have been magnificent.

“You Can’t Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd” – Roger Miller

One of country’s humorous kings, Roger Miller recorded a host of silly songs over the course of his career. We chose this particular number because of its evergreen wisdom. Of course.

“You’re The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly” – Loretta Lynn & Conway Twitty

But you know what? Looks ain’t everything. And money ain’t everything.

“I’m My Own Grandpa” – Willie Nelson

Get out a piece of scratch paper and sketch this family tree as you go. Does it seem a little… circular? Yeah… that’s the problem.

“Would Jesus Wear A Rolex” – Ray Stevens

A modern country parable. Again, an artist with plenty of silly and sarcastic songs to choose from — and Ray Stevens is being inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame this year. Sounds pretty country to us…

“Cleopatra, Queen Of Denial” – Pam Tillis

Yes. More country songs with outright puns as their hooks, please. And of course, we’ve all been there, Pam. Denial is a popular destination.

“Illegal Smile” – John Prine

On the opening track of his debut album Prine immediately set the tone for his entire career with some of the most nonsensical and witty lyrics ever set to song. “Well done, hot dog bun, my sister’s a nun.”

“I’ll Think Of A Reason Later” – Lee Ann Womack

If you’ve never driven down the road shouting along with this one, we highly recommend that you do — as soon as possible. The song’s main character has a remarkable sense of self-awareness for being so viscerally incensed. If you really hate someone — who may or may not have ended up with your former significant other — it may be your family’s redneck nature.

“My Give A Damn’s Busted” – Jo Dee Messina

Look, if you’ve gotten to the end of this list and you haven’t enjoyed yourself, or maybe you don’t get the point, or maybe you think this is just useless clickbait… whatever the case may be, this song counts as our response. “Nah, man. Sorry.” (Isn’t country the best?)