MANCHESTER, TN – Bonnaroo is here, and what better way to experience your favorite national brands and a little music than by camping out with thousands of strangers. But after pitching your tent in the swampy hellscape of Tennessee, experiencing the serenity of a fetid port-a-potty, and meeting your new influencer neighbor, “Kylie B,” living it up in her $4,000 glamping tent, you might be craving some creature comforts of your own. Here’s how to secure the ultimate Bonnaroo experience that’ll make you the envy of the unwashed masses before human-being-turned-cigarette Post Malone even takes the stage.
FUNDRAGING
You’ve already blown your firstborn’s college fund on festival passes, so it’s time to get creative with money. Start by hitting up any old roommates who stumbled into lucrative STEM careers while you were exploring your passion for Russian literature, then consider who among them you might have particularly damaging kompromat on. Your roommate-turned-pediatrician Owen really doesn’t want you to email his wife the Polaroids you have of “Turtle Night” back at Sigma Chi? It’s probably best that he just Venmo you a few thousand dollars in your time of need so that they never see the light of day.
SECURING PRIMO DIGS
Booking sites like Hotels.com or Airbnb can be expensive, and during festival season, availability is limited. Instead of stressing out with a last-minute scramble to find a place to your standards, try heading straight to Google Earth. With satellite technology, you can easily see which nearby McMansions look empty during the summer months. Nervous about trespassing? Bone up on Tennessee’s excellent stand-your-ground laws. Once you’ve established residency, even a returning homeowner can be escorted off their own property using any means necessary.
EATING LIKE A ROCKSTAR
Festival food is notoriously overpriced and underwhelming. But the headlining artists at these festivals come with specific riders that all but guarantee a yummy backstage spread. Since anyone under 5’6″ with a shaved head and the confidence of a middle-aged white man can pass for Flea, you’re virtually assured a seat at the table once you whisk past security into the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ dressing room. Over 5’6″? Throw on a backward baseball cap and cosplay as drummer Chad Smith or his lesser-known doppelgänger, Will Ferrell.
DRIVING IN STYLE
Did you know that Tesla owners get roadside assistance anywhere in America? Of course, you don’t own a Tesla, but your ring-light-bathed glamper neighbor Kylie B sure does. A standard box cutter will make quick work of the tires on her new Model S. When the tow truck arrives, simply decline the repair and ask them to drop you at your new house. Your compelling tales of every performance you’ve witnessed over the weekend are sure to win over the driver, so at the festival’s end, don’t hesitate to make him take you all the way back to your old life in Iowa and your wistful year-long wait before you can do it all again.
Greg Hess is a comedy writer and performer in Los Angeles. His work has been featured in The American Bystander, The Onion, Shouts & Murmurs, Points in Case, and he cohosts the hit satirical podcast MEGA.
Editor’s Note: To celebrate the release of Kacey Musgraves’ Deeper Well, we invited TikTok star, actor, creator, and musician Andi Marie Tillman to guide us on an apropos album ‘Deeper’ dive. Watch her video commentary or enjoy the written version of her thoughts and reactions to the stunning new record below.
Let’s go on a ride, shall we? I’m about to listen to the Kacey Musgraves album, Deeper Well. I’m hoping that we go so far down this well that we’re gonna get to Wonderland. Let’s see…
“Cardinal”
‘70s all the way!
Okay, right there, Crosby, Stills, & Nash, 100%. All the influences there – the harmonies, the double melody. Even the way it’s mixed, where all the voices kind of sit in that same space.
I love that. That feels so much like “Wooden Ships” in that Crosby, Stills, & Nash era. Such a fresh spin on it, though.
What’s that professional baseball team, the Cardinals? Ain’t there a professional baseball team that’s the Cardinals? Maybe they ought to make this their theme song. Really, this is the way to get chicks into baseball again. I like to think of us all in the Kate Bush “Wuthering Heights” red dress out on the field.
“Deeper Well”
Now let’s go to the title track, “Deeper Well.”
Love that strumming. I like that sweet refrain. I think that it travels well into the next verse. It seems to set out what the album’s intention is.
It does feel like this title track here, she is trying to communicate, “Hey, I’ve matured. I ain’t all about just the drugs. I ain’t all about getting high and having a good time.”
“Too Good to be True”
Now, shut up if that ain’t a Joni Mitchell little guitar intro right there! That’s like “Little Green” right there, a hundred percent. That’s like a “Ladies of the Canyon” kind of intro. Even the mix!
Now, that to me is quintessential country. When you got a clever line in there, that wordplay. “Be good to me, I’ll be good to you. But please don’t be too good to be true.”
That, to me, is like old school ladies of country, when they’re talking about love, but they’re like, “I’m going to be clever about it. I’m going to pull a Jane Austen on you.”
That right there is a Kacey Musgraves moment. That right there screamed Kacey to me. I almost said “scrumpt.” [Laughs] “Scrampt.” My Appalachian really came out there! But that right there is a Kacey moment, when the drum drops in that second verse. That was huge for Golden Hour. I remember “Slow Burn,” that was huge for “Slow Burn.” You know, she had that open chord and then the drum came in on the second verse. I know a lot of people do that, but it really felt like a Kacey move there. And it feels good too.
Love that harmony there. A lot of those harmonies remind me of Shania’s Come On Over. I don’t know who the guy is that did the background vocals for that, but the “Still the one / still the one I run to / one that I belong to…” the harmony in that is so freaking good. Go back and listen to it, but the harmonies here are tight.
This album makes me want to go buy a lamp. And move into a new house. Like it’s making me want to uproot my whole life and tell my husband we’re moving. We’re moving to California.
“Moving Out”
So something a little bit more straightforward, here. I am expecting a good story, because the instrumentation is kind of simple.
Oh, that hurts me! Okay. So autumn’s moving in and we’re moving out. As you see that, it’s almost like you can feel the transition of the season and she’s got all these vignettes of a marriage, like the resolution of a marriage, the eventual fading away of this relationship. That’s really, really pretty.
I even like how that little guitar whines at the end, an echoing of the haunting.
Kacey! That was campy as shit! Okay, so she even had a little sound effect for “it might be haunted” and you can kind of hear the ghostly echoes in the background. I love a campy moment! Good for you!
Anyone who’s been in a breakup can feel this one. Anyone who’s ever lived with somebody and had to say goodbye knows that that is so painful when you’ve intertwined lives with them. And then you do start to play that back. With every room that you clear out, it’s like you go through each room and your ghosts dance in front of you. I feel like she has set up these beautiful vignettes of a marriage that you get to peek into, like little rooms of a house. Each verse feels like that.
“Giver / Taker”
Nick Drake, where are you son?! We got some Nick Drake here, hon. Oh, I love it. I love all these open chords, sis.
She took Nick Drake, made it country. Just her voice is country. It really is. You gotta remember, she can do a lot of stuff and the essence of her voice has the twang and the pain. And it just sounds country.
Yes, sis! Again, clever. We got clever there. That’s where country comes in. Beautiful.
I like that one. I like that one so much, I can feel myself driving down a country road, windows down with that one. That one’s definitely a summer track. That “Giver / Taker,” it kind of sneaks up on you. I got a lump in my throat, because I remember what it felt like when you first started falling in love with somebody and you were like, “I wanna sop you up like gravy. I wanna sop you up with my biscuit. I’m gonna put my biscuit on you and I’m gonna sop you right up.
I am going to put you into a blender and drink you through a straw.” [Laughs]
“Sway”
That almost feels like horses running with that padding, [that] beat. Ooh, that’s nice. I like the soundscape on that end. And I also like that she’s having a nice vulnerable moment in the middle of the album. Because at the beginning we start out with like, you know, “I’m a big girl now,” but she’s also saying, “There’s some shit I gotta work on.”
“Maybe one day I’ll learn how to sway–” It reminds me of that Tanya Tucker “Strong Enough to Bend” kind of thing.
Can you ever just go with the flow? So she’s admitting, “Hey, I’ve gotten better, but I’m not all there.” And neither am I honestly, neither am I.
“Dinner with Friends”
I hope to god it’s not a song about what podcast they talked about. Hopefully dinner with friends is not, “Hey, how are you trying to optimize your life? What floor plan are y’all using?”
Dinner with my friends is just talking about Tim Curry and the Muppets, so…
[Kacey sings:] “Dinner with friends in cities where none of us live…”
Ooh! I cannot relate at all to this. [Laughs] But that sounds fabulous. I aspire to be the level of rich one day where I’m having dinner with my friends in cities that none of us live in.
[Kacey sings:] “The face somebody makes when you give ‘em a gift…”
Except for the Christmas that my mom bought my husband condoms – expired condoms at that. You should have seen my husband’s face that year. And then he said, “Don’t worry, we’ll put them to good use, Claudia.”
That was a great transition right there into that little chorus. Oh my Lord. You can just feel in that change, her being swept away, once again. You could be independent all day long, but then the right hottie comes along. Did I just write a song? [Laughs]
Yeah, somebody comes along with that body-ody-ody and sweeps you into a whole damn key change, sis.
[Kacey sings:] “Early in June, when the fireflies first start to glow, it never gets old…”
It don’t ever get old. Them lightning bugs, honey, the lightning bugs in June, there ain’t nothing like them. I’m ashamed to say we used to, I hate saying this – We used to pinch the little ends off of them and decorate our faces with them and say that we were, you know, wood nymph princesses.
It was real romantic at the time, now it’s just slaughter.
I love the whinin’ guitar that keeps weaving its way through here. It’s such a great motif, that ethereal cry out there. I love that.
“Heart of the Woods”
Ooh! I think we made it to Wonderland. We’re talking about the communication of trees, the secret life of trees under the ground. There’s a world that cannot be seen. And I think this might be a commentary on us finding out that trees communicate through their roots. They’re talking.
Now I’m anxious, all of a sudden, thinking about the trees talking, conspiring against us behind our backs.
I love the double vocal on so many of these tracks, because it does still hearken back to that canyon era, that Laurel Canyon, the folk singers of the ‘70s. But her voice always seems to bring an element of country to it. Always, her sound is so fresh and modern. I think it’s an interesting take. I like that. It’s kind of hippy-dippy, kind of flowy.
“Heart of the Woods” feels like it’s going on my playlist when I want to start a commune. You know, when I transition into my commune era – which is basically just when I have a kid and I don’t want to take care of it no more. I’m like, “Hey, y’all want to move out to the woods and help me with this shit?”
“Jade Green”
I like that mandolin.
Girl, I feel myself on a black stallion riding through the night. I feel myself topless, on a black stallion. That’s what I feel. And I feel like that moonlight’s just hitting me. It’s just like, my milky bosom through the night and like, maybe I have like a sheer cloth that’s just flowing behind me. [Laughs]
It’s got a real heartbeat to it. We need to put this behind a paywall!
I can really feel that being… that right there is a great drag performance. Somebody can have that.
“The Architect”
I like that this is that simple country songwriting format, so that the point is coming across. This song feels like kind of embracing the mystery. Did somebody do it? Was it here or is it part of some kind of design or not? I think a lot of us ask that question every day.
“Lonely Millionaire”
Sade? Sade? Where are you sis? Sade! I just got transported to a ‘90s Dillard’s. I would like those shoes in cream. Do you got a kitten heel?
That’s so sexy. I’m sending that to my husband right now. That one’s my favorite so far. Honestly. Because that shoots me back to “Lovers Rock,” that’s like a “Lovers Rock” tribute almost. Obviously she always puts her own spin on things, but she is an excellent curator of other pop moments.
“Heaven Is”
What is heaven?
[Kacey sings:] “We spent all day where the north wind blows / And you bought me a lavender rose / Put it in water when we got home / That’s what heaven is…”
This is your Ren Faire song. Honey, grab a turkey leg, because we’re going LARPing. We are LARPing, honey. You know, maybe I’m gonna go LARPing as Kacey at the Ren Faire this year. Grab you a turkey leg and a funnel cake, because we’re about to watch a joust and go make out behind the porta potties.
And, hey, that’s what heaven is to me. Who are you to judge me? Judge ye not. Lest ye be judged.
Listening to this song, I’m ready to give away all my rights and be burned at the stake.
I love that she goes for the romance. I feel like this album is one that you can play if you’re wanting to get hyped up or if you’re just wanting to toot around the house. It’s perfect. It’s perfect for all the occasions. It’s like my one cousin who was a carny that we know can swing both ways, if you know what I’m saying.
“Anime Eyes”
That got cute fast. I’m glad that I kind of get these references, because we just watched a Miyazaki film the other night. It does kind of bring in that sweet, magical element to it.
It’s cute, the song is cute, but also, it’s got a little bit of its own magic to it, too.
That got psychedelic plum quick. But I like it, I like [that] she leaned way into camp on that one.
I’m proud of you.
“Nothing to be Scared Of”
I feel like this puts a nice bow at the end, as the end track, because it’s sweet, we’ve got those tight harmonies returning. It’s the simple design. It’s the simple structure.
Basically, “I’ve got your back. I’ve got you on my mind. Don’t be afraid.” It’s like a peaceful entry to love and I think that that really fits with the whole vibe of the album, of, “I’m going to a mature place. I want to love the right way.”
Honey, I ain’t even been further west than Oklahoma, and this album takes me all the way to Laurel Canyon. I’m just driving through that canyon, got my top down, and I’m hoping not to get stabbed by the Manson family.
The album makes me want to start making dandelion tea. I’ve never thought about doing that in my whole life. But like, I could crush up some dandelions. This shit is bad for me, because I might start asking people for sourdough starters.
STOCKHOLM, SE – In a bold move that has left the financial and music worlds scratching their heads, Spotify, the digital music streaming giant, has unveiled its latest venture: a subprime mortgage lending program for users with less-than-stellar credit and meager incomes.
“Let’s face it, what’s the point of enjoying your favorite tunes if you’re belting them out on the street corner?” quipped Spotify’s CEO, Daniel Eck, at the shareholder meeting. “With Spotify Premium Lending, you can now groove to Ariana Grande in the comfort of your very own budget-friendly, interest-forward sanctuary.”
As housing prices and interest rates skyrocket to unprecedented levels, the struggle to own a home has become a real-life dirge for many. Unsurprisingly, among the first to leap onto the Spotify mortgage bandwagon are the very artists whose songs populate the platform.
Texas-based folk singer Rivers Mulgrew, whose music streams for a paltry .0003 cents on Spotify, enthusiastically shared, “Owning a home was always a distant dream. But with my Spotify mortgage, I snagged a fixer upper in Austin. I can’t afford it now, but I’m hoping America will wake up to my banjo-forward murder ballads before my first payment is due.”
However, not everyone is singing praises for Spotify’s foray into real estate. Housing rights advocate and part-time wedding band singer Leslie Locker led a protest outside Spotify’s New York offices, declaring, “If I’m busting my vocal cords to buy a home, I’d rather my mortgage be from Bandcamp. At least they appreciate a good indie effort.”
Despite the backlash, Eck remained undeterred. “For those struggling to pay their Spotify mortgage, worry not. We offer loan assistance. Artists can use their entire musical catalog and future work as collateral. Depending on algorithmic performance, they might just keep the roof over their heads.”
Greg Hess is a comedy writer and performer in Los Angeles. His work has been featured in The American Bystander, The Onion, Shouts & Murmurs, Points in Case, and he cohosts the hit satirical podcast MEGA.
Artist:Alison Brown & Steve Martin Hometown: La Jolla, California (Alison); Waco, Texas (Steve) Song: “Bluegrass Radio” Release Date: March 15, 2024 Label: Compass Records
In Their Words: “This little tune brings a ton of joy to me. Alison’s playing is flawless, and my singing is flaw-full.” – Steve Martin
“I’m so grateful to all the DJs for playing ‘Foggy Morning Breaking’ and for inspiring Steve to write the lyrics to ‘Bluegrass Radio.’ Thanks to Sam, Stuart, Trey, and Todd for the great playing – and to Steve for the outstanding twin banjo picking.” – Alison Brown
Track Credits:
Steve Martin – vocals, banjo Alison Brown – banjo Sam Bush – mandolin, harmony vocals Stuart Duncan – fiddle Trey Hensley – guitar, harmony vocals Todd Phillips – bass
Recorded and mixed by Matt Coles at Compass Sound Studio, Nashville, TN. Additional recording by Matt Coles at Echo Mountain, Asheville, NC, assisted by Julian Dreyer. Mastered by Randy LeRoy. Produced by Alison Brown and Garry West.
Video Credit: Filmed at Compass Sound Studio by Joseph Spence Additional footage shot by Josh Blake and Shane Peters at Echo Mountain Edited by Joseph Spence Photo Credit: Madison Thorn
ENGLAND, UK — After a seven year hiatus, Radiohead, the iconic alt-rock band known for its genre-defying sound, has announced their latest endeavor: a tribute to American country-folk pioneers, The Carter Family.
“There is no Kid A without ‘Wabash Cannonball,’” said lead singer Thom Yorke, speaking from the glass orb he calls home in Oxfordshire.
“I felt it was time to finally pay tribute to the only group Radiohead has consistently ripped off for years.”
The new album is a radical departure for Radiohead and will contain no original compositions. Instead, it’s a musical scrapbook of early Carter Family classics like “Poor Orphan Child” and “Single Girl, Married Girl.”
“I like it because the songs aren’t your typical Thom Yorke word salad,” guitarist Johnny Greenwood quipped. “When Sara Carter sings about a wandering boy, it’s not a cryptic reference to late stage capitalism. It’s literally about a time she misplaced a kid and couldn’t find it.”
Radiohead fans were thrown into a whirlwind of excitement with the announcement of the new record. However, tensions within the band were revealed when a demo track from the album leaked online. The tune “John Hardy Was a Desperate Little Man” features Yorke on vocals, Colin Greenwood on upright bass, Ed O’Brien on autoharp, and Phil Selway on spoons. But when Johnny Greenwood attempted to distort a 1928 Gibson L-5 through a Korg Kaoss Pad, it led to an expletive-laced tirade from Yorke.
“You put a f—ing sampler on Mother Maybelle and I’ll rip your f—ing throat out!” Yorke is heard screaming, followed by a loud crash before the recording is cut short. Greenwood was later seen exiting a clinic in rural Abingdon, Virginia with a bandaged head and a newfound appreciation for the dobro.
“I suppose I was ready to move on from all the squawks and beeps and boops I normally toss in there anyway,” he smiled sadly.
Radiohead’s upcoming 2024 summer tour schedule is as surprising as their newfound Carters obsession, and includes appearances at festivals like the Silver Dollar City Pick Fest and Tidewater Tunes Crab Boil before settling into a bi-weekly jam at Shenandoah Pizza Co.
Greg Hess is a comedy writer and performer in Los Angeles. His work has been featured in The American Bystander, The Onion, Shouts & Murmurs, Points in Case, and he cohosts the hit satirical podcast MEGA.
(Editor’s Note: Welcome to the debut of our new humor column, The Resonator – from the pen of satirist and performer Greg Hess.)
RALEIGH, N.C. — Gary Plapinger (48), a local Guitar Center salesman, expressed surprise upon realizing that the person he had been explaining chords to was none other than acclaimed guitarist Molly Tuttle.
“I feel tricked,” remarked Plapinger in retrospect. “I dedicated a considerable amount of time to that gal’s musical education.”
According to witness Ashlyn Lockerbie (32), the entire interaction could have been avoided. “Molly [Tuttle] politely explained to him multiple times that she had been playing for years,” Lockerbie stated. “She wasn’t even looking to buy a guitar.”
Plapinger, however, held a different perspective. “I was suggesting she get a ukulele; thought her kids could enjoy it too,” he explained, despite Tuttle not currently having children.
Observing the cringe-worthy spectacle from her hiding place behind a bass amplifier, Lockerbie later managed to escape through the loading dock to avoid Plapinger. “I’m not proud of running,” she said with a haunted look. “But I had to save myself.”
In a statement released on Friday, Grammy award-winning Tuttle revealed that she had entered the store seeking directions after leaving her cellphone in an Uber. To her dismay, this led to an hour and twenty-minute encounter with Plapinger, including a lecture on the greatest guitar solos of all time, a photo presentation of his 1999 canary yellow Camaro, and an impromptu performance of “Stairway to Heaven,” all without Tuttle’s consent.
According to Facebook, Plapinger has been a part-time sales associate at Guitar Center since 2016, following his divorce. He also serves as an alternate lead guitarist for the local Led Zeppelin cover band, Boogie With Stu.
“I even added her to the guest list for my show at Foamie’s that night. Surprise, surprise, she didn’t show up!” he exclaimed, before turning his attention to a woman perusing pedal boards. “Her loss. She could have learned how to rock,” he added with a shrug.
Tuttle is currently touring the United Kingdom with Tommy Emmanuel and said that the incident has motivated her to aid other women facing similar situations.
“I never pass a music retailer without checking on the women inside and ensuring they want to be there,” said Tuttle, whose Run Don’t Strum Foundation has rescued numerous musicians to date. “After what I’ve been through, it’s the least I can do.”
Greg Hess is a comedy writer and performer in Los Angeles. His work has been featured in The American Bystander, The Onion, Shouts & Murmurs, Points in Case, and he cohosts the hit satirical podcast MEGA.
If you haven’t heard by now, Apple released a host of new emojis — 398 to be exact! — with the rollout of iOS 13.2 earlier this week. Among them are soon-to-be-favorites such as an otter, a sloth, a yawning face, a bulb of garlic, and oh so many more. To take you into the weekend we thought we’d poll the BGS staff and list our favorites here. Which new additions are you most excited for? Comment below!
The Banjo
I mean, DUH!! We finally get a banjo emoji! Props to Apple for getting it right with the fifth string peg and the armrest. It’s clearly a beginner model (the tuning pegs parallel to the headstock, for instance), but this machine can clearly get the job done. An obvious fav.
The Banjo
Can you blame us? A BANJO EMOJI IS HERE, Y’ALL!!
The Banjo
No, seriously. This isn’t a “paddle faster” situation. This is a “the quintessential American instrument is finally given its due alongside a violin, stratocaster, trumpet, saxophone, and a Shure SM58” situation. Or perhaps, a Bluegrass Situation?
The Banjo (Samsung version)
Are those… are those ugly tuners!? Unfortunately, no. If you peer really closely you’ll see it’s actually a six-string banjo, which is just as important a part of American vernacular music as the five-string, to be sure. Good job, though, Samsung. The detail is spot on, even if six-string banjos don’t have headstocks like this.
The Banjo (Facebook version)
Facebook isn’t getting much of anything right these days, but damn if their banjo emoji doesn’t just almost cover a world of sin. Another six-string (forgivable), yes, and the inlays and gold plating are a nice touch.
The Banjo
We just missed it, okay? TAKE IN ITS RESPLENDENT GLORY!!
The Banjo (Google version)
Another budget model, given the flange styling, and they certainly phoned in the details — is it four-string? Five-string? Six-string? NO-STRING!? But hey, it’s a banjo. Banjomoji. (Still testing out that term. You can use it if you like.)
The Banjo
If you scrolled down this far to see if we’ve chosen any others… Nope! Still banjo.
The Banjo (Microsoft version)
It kinda feels like this one should be cut out and promptly slung around a paper doll’s neck, right? Cute as can be. But really, did any of y’all know Microsoft has their own versions of emojis? Who knew??? [Windows phone users, don’t @ us.]
The participation trophy of banjo emojis. The “nobody else in the group project turned in their work” of banjo emojis. The Nickelback of banjo emojis. Four tuners, two strings, six brackets — is this a functional instrument or a toy, Twitter? Oh right. Neither. It’s an emoji. Still a banjo, though!
The Hatchet
The only other AXE to be released in this round of emojis. Lololol. Get it?
The Banjo
You see what we’re doing here, right?
The Banjo
If only Earl Scruggs could see the magnificence he hath wrought.
The Banjo
Whether you got here the long way or scrolled right down after reading the intro, yes, this is a real thing you just read. We just love the banjo emoji, okay? We’ve waited a while. Let us have this moment.
Now to begin lobbying for a mandolin emoji! Who’s with us!?
Photo credit: Foter.com Emojis: Apple designs / Emojipedia
I love playing banjo in the UK. By the end of my latest British tour with Gangstagrass, I started thinking that next time I should stay for longer. Maybe I’ll get a Leicester flat.
Fortunately, Man About a Horse is heading out on our first UK tour. To help my bandmates adjust to the culture shock, I’ve identified a few key differences between our nations from observations during my time abroad. I hope this resource proves helpful to other touring bands and to the readers of the Bluegrass Situation. — Dan Whitener, Man About a Horse
The political system is different.
It’s important to be sensitive to the current political climate when you are a visitor, especially if you have to interact with large groups of people on a daily basis. What you should know is that there was a contentious vote in 2016 that stoked xenophobia, sowed distrust of government, drove a wedge between groups of citizens, and separated the country from the world community in a meaningful way. The country is still navigating the effects of this vote, as well as experiencing ongoing turbulence and the occasional unseating of high-ranking government officials.
How will Americans possibly understand what that’s like?
The green rooms are different.
The green rooms have tea. The hotels have tea. Every place has tea. Somewhere, a British scientist is working on a tea pipeline to have it come out of the tap. Which reminds me, washing your hands is an art that takes the better part of half an hour. The sink, or washbasin, has separate taps for hot and cold water, and you mix them to the perfect temperature in the basin, which you stopper and fill. This process serves as a reminder of why we don’t take baths in America.
These differences in your daily routine may slow you down, but you might find yourself becoming more contemplative while soaking your hands in a basin of hot tea.
The language is different.
Here in America, we sometimes make the mistake of thinking we speak a language called English. Having visited England, I can tell you that we do not speak English. Having visited Scotland, I can also tell you that they do not speak English. For instance, musicians use the word “gig” to refer to a show we’re going to play, but fans in the UK also use it to describe a show they’re going to see. This will only enhance your existing suspicion that everyone else has more gigs than you!
It’s always a good idea when visiting a foreign country to learn a few key words and phrases. This is true of the UK. To practice conversing like a local, you should first determine what’s on your mind, and then make sure not to say it.
The driving is different.
The UK is one of those places where you drive on the left side of the road. Accordingly, the driver sits on the right side, left turns are much easier, and sometimes I wake up from road naps disoriented and screaming about incoming traffic.
Calculating distance and gas economy can be confusing as well. The gas (called “petrol,” unless you’re using diesel) is sometimes measured in litres (not liters, unless it’s gallons), while distance is still measured in miles (unless it’s kilometres, not kilometers). All you need to know is that the venues are still as far apart as they need to be, according to the radius clause.
The crowd is different.
You may have some difficulty assessing the audience reaction. One time I played a show in England for a good-sized crowd who clapped for every song. However, not a single person danced. In fact, everyone plastered themselves against the back wall the entire time. At the end of the show, we went out to say hi, and asked if everyone had been having fun. “Oh, we did,” they reassured us, “but no one wanted to be the first to start dancing.”
You might also find it unsettling to not hear constant talking from the audience. They are doing something they call “listening.” You’ll get used to it.
You are different.
Remember not to blend in too much! British people may seem foreign and exciting to you, but in the UK, you are the stranger, which means you are foreign and exciting to them! So, instead of trying to perfect your British accent, just speak the way you normally do. The same goes for your music.
Imagine this: some British fans are already wild about American folk music without ever having heard an American musician play it in person. You get to play for a knowledgeable audience with fresh ears.
Editor’s Note: Man About A Horse are playing in the UK until 14 July. Get all of their tour dates here.
The first record I ever owned on vinyl was Roy Clark and Buck Trent’s Banjo Bandits. (Excellent record. Hokey, silly, bouncy, double banjo nirvana complete with bluegrass piano.) Roy Clark and Buck Trent eventually led me to Hee Haw, which gave me hours of entertainment and caused hundreds of that-joke-was-so-so-bad facepalms. The music, though, was first rate — and the ratio of banjos to literally everything else was exactly as high as it should be. Check out these amazing best banjo-y Hee Haw moments.
Jimmy Henley and Roy Clark — “Orange Blossom Special”
Jimmy Henley was a world champion banjo player at just 10 years old. Sure, “Orange Blossom Special” is an overplayed trick song, but dang, Jimmy could play fast and clean as a little kid.
Stringbean and Grandpa Jones — “Little Liza Jane”
Two of the classics of the Grand Ole Opry and Hee Haw — and they were neighbors, too, living in the same holler north of Nashville. Look at Stringbean’s face when he forgets they’re repeating the chorus the first time through it. Let us know if you happen to know who the unidentified dancer is.
Roy Clark and Bobby Thompson — “Bury Me Beneath the Willow”
The world needs more double banjo. Full stop.
Cathy Barton — “Redwing”
Now here’s some clawhammer! “Redwing” is a simple tune, but it’s executed expertly and tastefully. Cathy Barton still plays and teaches today, and she tours with her husband Dave Para.
Grandpa Jones, Roni Stoneman, Buck Trent, Roy Clark, Bobby Thompson — “Pretty Little Bird”
How many banjos is too many banjos? There’s no such thing. Line ‘em all up in front of a haystack, and you’ve got a party.
Roy Clark & Buck Trent — “Dueling Banjos”
Leaving off right where we started, with the original banjo bandits, Roy Clark and Buck Trent pickin’ an absolute bluegrass banjo staple!
In an age of rampant anti-intellectualism, it’s imperative that we cling to the brainiacs among us, be they scholars or scientists, pundits or poets. One of the smartest of the songwriter smarty pants has long been Aimee Mann and, thankfully, she’s back with a new album to get us through 2017, the more-than-aptly titled Mental Illness. The set finds Mann pairing lyrical introspection with musical intimacy in a way she has never fully explored. By stripping away the pretense of production, her superlative songwriting shoulders the weight of the album, and easily so. On what is, perhaps, her finest release of the past 15 years, Mann wanders in and out of stories that revolve around the hub of dysfunction that is the experience of being human.
When I first heard the record a few weeks ago, I posted on Facebook about how great it is and people came out of the woodwork to declare their fandom for you.
[Laughs] Wow. That’s really nice!
There were folks I never would’ve pegged as Aimee Mann fans, but … right on. They earned a new level of respect in my book.
That’s very sweet, very encouraging.
Right? I go all the way back with you, music-wise, to the ‘Til Tuesday days. But it wasn’t “Voices Carry” that locked me in. It was “Coming Up Close.”
Is that right?
Yeah. I still remember watching that video on my tiny dorm room TV. I feel like it was one of the songs that helped form my musical tastes in college. When you look back to those early days, can you see the whole trajectory to where you are now in them?
I sort of can, honestly. When I first started playing music, I played in a band called the Young Snakes and it was a real clunky art-rock band. It was one of those bands when you’re 19 and you go, “I’m gonna break all the rules!” [Laughs] But mostly because you don’t know how to play and don’t know what you’re doing. But also because it’s fun. Then it’s funny to see what your idea of rules are. Our ideas of what the rules were was nothing melodic, nothing with a steady beat. [Laughs] We had no cymbals on the drum kit. I don’t know why. I don’t know why we came up with that rule. So that was my first band.
Then I had an equal and opposite reaction when I formed ‘Til Tuesday because I felt like that’s its own purity, where you can’t do anything melodic. You can’t write any songs about love. You can’t do anything that’s pretty. Then I was listening to a lot of dance-funk, like the Gap Band. So that was the influence of ‘Til Tuesday. But I feel like that wasn’t that natural to me, either. It was just what I was interested in.
I used to write all my songs on bass because that was my main instrument, but also that was more like the dance-funk stuff. That’s where that sprung from. Then I started writing songs on acoustic guitar and it was like, “Oh. This is really more my thing.” So I can totally see why “Coming Up Close,” which was probably one of the first — if not the first — songs I wrote on acoustic guitar … it was me starting out going, “I’m going to really try to write songs.”
And it stands up. I still love that song so much.
Well, thank you.
And I’m really grateful to be the age I am because it was artists like you, Crowded House, and the Story, who were at least somewhat mainstream when I was coming up. You guys all made — and continue to make — grown up music. Where do you think you’d fit if you were just starting out now?
I don’t know. I think that, once you get out of the loop in popular culture, it’s really hard to get back in. I think I got out of the loop in popular culture really early because, when you go on tour, you can’t really keep up with stuff. I remember going on tour in 1984 or 1985 and I missed the whole Morrissey thing. I missed the Pixies. I missed everything because I was in a van and that stuff wasn’t being played on the radio.
I think that, if you have more word of mouth from friends, you can keep up, but when you’re older, you don’t really have that. You don’t have people saying, “Hey, you gotta check out this band.” There’s a little bit, but not that much.
For this exact moment in history, Mental Illness is really a perfect album title. Though you drill down deeper in a few songs, the human condition is, all on its own, a mental illness. And that’s what you’re examining here, right? It’s the co-dependency, compulsive behaviors, bad habits, and poor decisions that everyone suffers, in one way or another.
There’s certainly that. There are a couple of songs that are written about someone my friends and I had intersected with who probably had a sort of sociopathic … I mean, I think scientists don’t yet know what that diagnosis is, exactly. I think it’s probably a combination of things. So, to have interactions with someone who probably is a sociopath … I know people who are bipolar. And I’m certainly no stranger to depression and anxiety. I think the role obsession plays in people’s lives is interesting. Everything you said — poor decision-making and all — it all comes under that umbrella.
Yeah. And having a potential sociopath, certainly a pathological liar, on such a huge stage for us all to witness right now … we can all say we suffer from the abuse that type of personality inflicts.
Well, yeah. That’s why half of us are filled with a paralytic fear because we recognize, when you are led by someone with no empathy, things can go very, very wrong for you. I think the other half feels, “I don’t care. He’s on my side.” Or, “I’m one of them.” But my experience tells me that no one gets out. No one escapes. You’re never on that guy’s side for long. You never cozy up to the bully for long. Eventually, he turns on you, too. So it’s very scary. We do depend on some amount of human compassion and understanding to protect us from people who are powerful.
Is your humor part of that? As anyone really paying attention knows, you have an incredibly sharp wit that, sure, doesn’t always get reflected in your songs, but it’s definitely in there. For every “Real Bad News,” there’s also a “Superball.” Is that part of how you stay strong — turning to that humor?
I think that helps. And thank you for saying that because my comedian friends are the ones I envy the most. The ability to be funny, the ability to choose exactly — and this is what I aspire to, as a songwriter — the ability to choose exactly the right word and the right phrasing to create a certain effect. It’s so impressive to me.
But, for me, humor turns on being able to accurately identify something, and there is an intersection where the accurate identification becomes funny. That was why calling this record Mental Illness is funny because it’s so blunt and sort of dumb, even. But it’s so accurate, it makes me laugh.
Otherwise, if you didn’t have that humorous part of you, the melancholy might be too overwhelming and Mental Illness might be too spot-on to be funny.
Yeah. Yeah. You have to lift yourself up somehow.
I also love that you fully embrace the narrative about yourself — as cliché or stereotyped as it might be — that you write depressing tunes … which you don’t. What do you think it would take to shake it off?
I don’t think my songs are depressing, but they are often sad and introspective. That doesn’t bother me. Happy songs are dull. I would defy you to play me … Well, there was that one song, “Happy,” that was good. [Laughs] But the reason it’s good, for me, is because it has chord changes that are a little melancholy and I like the contrast. There’s a little wistfulness in those chord changes and the contrast is very nice.
What you were saying before about choosing words … there are always a few lines on every record of yours that just slay me in the simplicity of their brilliance. On this album, there’s “It happens so fast, and then it happens forever” in “Stuck in the Past” or “I know the tumbleweed lexicon” in “You Never Loved Me.” When you land lines like that, do you know it in your bones right away? Or do they sneak up on you?
I think, when I’m writing, I’m just trying to explain the feeling. That sense of satisfaction comes when it’s, “Yeah. That’s really what it feels like.” Something happens and it feels like it happens fast, but it lasts forever. Then, in your mind, you just replay and replay and replay it, whatever that pivotal moment is for you or a variety of pivotal moments. And it’s brutal. That’s brutal, because everybody has those. I don’t know. There’s a satisfaction in feeling like, “YES! That explains it! There’s a really specific feeling and that explains it.”
The other line, the narrator is going, “Yeah, I get what you’re saying to me.” That’s one of the songs that’s about the friend who had the encounter with the sociopath. They had talked about getting married. She moved across the country to be with him, and he never showed up. There’s an element of real cruelty in that, like, “Oh, you’re actually trying to send me a message above and beyond breaking up with someone.” The person is just rolling out of your life. I know how those people talk and what they’re saying.
What’s the ratio in your writing of how much you’re writing to or for yourself versus to or for or about someone else? Or does it all just mish-mosh-mingle together?
That’s a really interesting question. It’s not as much as you might think. I have to say, it’s all stories I can relate to and, sometimes, getting inside someone else’s story is more relatable than my own story. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes my own story is kind of effuse with details that don’t necessarily make sense, that only have a significance to me. But, if I tell someone else’s story that I can relate to, I can make it more cogent so that it’s then relatable to you. In a sense, it’s both our stories, then it’s all our stories.
Right. Right. Because, your own story, sometimes you’re too close to it. You’re on the inside of it so it’s harder to, like you said, sort it out in a way that’s easily expressible, I would imagine.
Yeah. Yeah. I don’t know. I think, also, you can write about other people in the first person and it’s easier to have compassion for other people than yourself, even though you’re essentially in the same boat.
I love the fact that you were listening to Bread and [Dan] Fogelberg in the run up to recording this thing. That was my childhood soundtrack, all that ’70s-era folk-rock.
Yeah, totally.
Do you feel like placing these songs in a soft sonic setting helps smooth out some of the themes and lyrical edges a bit? Would they have worked in another setting, these songs?
I don’t know. It’s possible. I was just really in the mood for a record that, from beginning to end, had a real intimacy where you could really hear the acoustic guitar on its own. You can hear the fingers on the strings and the string noise. Hear the voice really closely. There are some other elements, but those are the two things coming through.
Superego Records aside … when critics call you “one of the top 10 living songwriters” and “one of the finest songwriters of [your] generation,” is that something you can get your head around? And does it complicate anything for you, in terms of internal or external pressure?
Well, I’ve never seen that in print, so I don’t know. [Laughs] I almost feel like it’s a trick question! “People say you’re the greatest ever songwriter alive!” Well, is it happening? Is that happening right now? Are you telling me I’m one of the greatest songwriters? In which case, I haven’t yet felt pressure, but maybe after this phone call, I will! [Laughs]
[Laughs] Damn it, Aimee Mann, I’ll say it: You’re the greatest ever!
You know what? I just love fucking writing songs. I love it. It is the most fun. It is so satisfying. I have ways to keep it from getting too ponderous. I have little tricks and games that I play to keep it fun, because it’s fun. And I don’t want it to not be fun.
I know a lot of songwriters who struggle and worry: “This song I’m working on is …” Or, “The song I just finished is the last good song I’ll ever write.” They tie themselves up in knots. It’s just so much fun. I just wrote this song for Julie Klausner for her show, Difficult People. It’s a funny song. It’s a duet she’s singing with herself and it’s meant to be funny. Of course, I wrote it, so it’s also sad. But it was just the most fun thing to do. It’s goofy, but it’s also unbelievably sad. And that is my favorite thing. I love it.
My last question was going to be … At this point, 30-some years on, what’s the goal with your music and has it shifted over the years? But I think you just answered what the goal is.
Yeah. Maybe. [Laughs] There are things I want to get better at, because I’m writing a musical … which is to say that, every three months, our writing team gets together to talk about what should happen next and then everybody goes and does their own thing and forgets about it until the next three-month meeting. So that’s been going on for years. But that is an ongoing, long-term project, and I would like to get better at writing for a really specific situation and specific characters and a specific voice. That’s harder than just writing for myself. When I can use a metaphorical shorthand, I know what I’m talking about. I don’t have to explain it to anybody else. It can be in the realm of this murky, dream-like image. But you have to be a lot more specific in musicals. I just think that’s a talent I would love to develop more.
Photo credit: Sheryl Nields
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.AcceptRead More
Privacy & Cookies Policy
Privacy Overview
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
